Hello Blog! Its been a long time(almost a year) since my last post! Life has took some very sharp turns witnessing major events and grand changes which will steer and shape the future course.
Note – This post is mostly about me and my life, if you are not interested, please wait for the regular posts! #Shantaram book review coming soon!
With the UPSC preparation, life course seems slow. Sometimes it seems monotonous but the pleasure and satisfaction derived from the preparation itself, makes the journey worthy while moving towards the ‘final’ destination. All efforts during the time I was not on this blog went towards this preparation. And as I earned the result, I lost something much more important–my health.
Preparation was going smooth till prelims in August. It went well and result was positive. But soon after that my health took a toll on me. My sheer neglect of it and my ‘faulty’ approach not to share my health troubles with the family, worsened the illness. What may not have been so serious in the beginning tuned out to be the case of ‘slip-disk'(Spinal injury). With too much of the most important time(during the mains exams) lost in the diagnosis, ‘mental’ pain was much more than the physical agony. All efforts towards the preparation seemed to be going down the hill. With lot of delay and counselling from family and friends, it came to my childish mind that health is apparently more important as the spinal injury will have lifetime ramifications with further neglect. Most of the three months time in between the prelims and mains preparation was spent on bed as it became really difficult to walk and sit. Though with consistent medication, exercise and ‘conditioned’ mind(to not worry about exams) it became better as the exams came close and I was able to write main exams with single doses of painkillers. Sadly, much hasn’t improved on this front lately and the symptoms are coming back again! Though medicines are still continuous, I lost on the exercise and dietary regime and is trying to catch up on it.
What I felt, I learnt, I lost, I understood, I thought and I perceived during the course of such ‘tragedy’, that too at the most important time and at the best opportune moment for me are the lessons for life. I could have neglected health leading to a much serious situation but that would be “doing wrong thing for the right reasons”. But the reasons it seems were right from my views only. The reasons that were immediate, short-sighted, selfish and vague. But ‘some’ people talked sense into me. I owe a lot to these loving and caring people in my life.
Life is all about contrasts! While I was wriggling with the worst crisis in my life, something beautiful was happening in the nature. My brother found his soulmate! I wish both of them the most beautiful and prosperous life. Nothing makes me more happy than seeing the people closest to me happy and smiling. So in this sense, I am almost overburdened with happiness! The pain, the crisis, the suffering just vanished, dissolved into the infinite ether and what prevailed over it is sheer happiness, love and joy. My Bhabhi(Sister-in-law), she’s is a beautiful person by heart. She’s like a friend, a guide, a sister. She is caring and loving. She’s smart, studious and a ‘techie’. She is the newest member of our small house and is welcome in our hearts and home. Some void and emptiness which surrounded us with the marriage of my elder sister and her being too far away for too long has been filled by her gracious though still ‘virtual’ presence!
It’s all comes down to a balance. Happiness feels dull without pain and sorrow contrasting it. Its true meaning is lost unless we have witnessed the absence of it. Time is again turning fast and its time to revert to the old regime and dedication of UPSC preparation. Life has its own way of teaching us things and I think I learnt them the hard way. But I think, I learnt them early too! Its time to put all of it to use, to polish myself further, to progress towards being a good man, a better man and to serve others in every way I could.
PS – I will be back with insights and lessons from my life soon now! This being a new addition to the blog and will be a way to find myself!
PPS – I could have written a lot more about #Bhabhi, and how I constantly tease and annoy her. But I think she would like a Facebook post better on that! 😉
PPPS – About dietary, medication and exercise regime. I think, my careless soul do need a whip(‘hunter’)!